Fear of Failing Forward

When I think of some of the tribulations — and triumphs — I have experienced in my life I am amazed at what I have come through, the unconquerable spirit that was ever present.In some ways we are immensely strong and enduring. And yet, in some ways each of us inhabits a human self that is also extraordinarily fragile and vulnerable.

For example, in these years of my life, though I love the stillness and peace of my own being with ever increasing passion —  and find in my being the meaning and joy for which I longed my whole life — fear still arises. We are capable of great feats and yet we are also very fragile. And this realization that we are not invincible, that we can be hurt, that we can lose what is dear to us and so on…this fear makes us vulnerable. Yet fear is a part of life. There is no escape from it.

I am a cancer survivor and felt great fear when I heard that diagnosis. I could have just crumbled. I did all I was supposed to do, and just continued to live my life. It has been 16 years now and I am still going forward. I must say, I am going forward with more appreciation of life. My fear of cancer brought this about. I cannot say that my fear regarding the disease is totally out of my life. There are small lurking doubts, but I cannot let them rule my life. I have too much I want to do!


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