Undetected and Undernourished

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Some of you have asked why I have been absent from Twitter chats, reading & responding to favorite blogs and why I’m not as visible on other social media outlets. It has been a difficult school year for my children. After working a full day, I come home to assist my children with their learning. Sometimes I’m reteaching material and other times I’m assisting them with numerous worksheet packets, test prep sheets, and endless amount of homework. That being said, I thought I would give you a glimpse of what our school year has been like. Please no negative comments. Instead, words of encouragement and support for Sophie would be much appreciated. Thank you 🙂

I hear sobbing from her bedroom again. I hesitate to knock on the door. I know what she is crying about. A lump forms in my throat. My eyes well up. My heart is heavy. I sigh. I take a moment before I knock and ask to enter her room.

14368655_10211563700554859_2999918388971433763_nMy daughter, Sophia (#Sophiegirl) is my heart. She is my mini me. She has smiled and laughed every day of her life. She is our comedienne, our creative artist, and our resident athlete. It’s beyond difficult to see her so upset.

After numerous days and hours studying, memorizing rules and formulas for a math test, Sophie scored a 50%.

Sophie is a hands-on, creative, and visual learner. She is a thinker, “a doer”; she sees things differently. Every year we discuss her learning style with her teachers. We discuss how Sophie needs to make connections with what she is learning; her assignments need to be meaningful. Sophie doesn’t learn like other students in her 6th grade classroom; she does not learn in a linear way. She learns through creating, manipulating and questioning. She is passionate and curious about many things, and needs to express it. She likes a challenge. She likes to figure things out on her own. She is not accustomed to memorizing lengthy test prep sheets. In our home, my children know that learning is not memorizing facts. In our home, learning is anything but memorizing.

Once again, she had 3 days to study and to complete problems from a xeroxed math packet. Her anxiety and nerves were on HIGH alert. She put forth the effort and did not receive the success she was hoping for. Once again, we will reach out to her teacher, asking for assistance.

As I entered her room, I saw her on her iPad. Her eyes red, her cheeks tear stained. Her nose runny. She moved over and invited me onto her bed.

“You okay?” I asked.

She stared intensely at the screen, her eyes becoming moist. She bit her bottom lip (just like her mama) and nodded.

“Did you see my test?”, Sophie asked. “I told you, I’m just not good at math.”

“What are you working on?” I asked.

“I’m re-designing my house. I thought I would add more organized closet space as well as a more detailed laundry room with shelves and a counter. I’m just having a hard time with the measurement, but I think I figured it out.” she said.

As she showed me her creation on a home design app. She discussed how she needed to increase the dimensions of the rooms, which also increased the area of her house. The additional square footage would also mean an upgrade in the heating and cooling system. In the laundry room, she had chosen a plywood based counter but realized it would not be strong enough for the weight of a slab of marble. So, she made the decision to cut into her budget once again, to purchase a solid wood counter. She continued on about her designs, her budget, her measurements, the functionality and proportions of the space.

 


I sat there a bit dumbfounded. She has such an understanding of design, working within a budget, measuring and proportions. So many math concepts. She learned this all on her own. Why are we still drilling and killing our learners in math? Why hasn’t the xeroxed math packet died? Will her teacher ever realize her potential?

Sophie is a visual spatial learner. These learners think in pictures rather than in words and learn differently than auditory and sequential learners. They learn all-at-once, visually and creatively. When the “a-ha” moment happens, the learning is permanent. Visual spatial learners do not learn from repetition, or the dreaded “drill and skill” methods that we see in classrooms. They need to see the big picture first before they learn about the details. They are also non-linear, and do not learn in a step-by-step manner. The fact is, most teachers today, teach in their own learning style. As adults, this tends to mostly be an auditory, and sequential modality.

Success in today’s schools still depends upon a learner memorizing facts, handing in assignments, following directions and having fast recall. These auditory sequential skills are actually limiting the potential of all students to be successful, and gain employment in today’s world.

Great teachers appreciate that no two students are alike and great teachers recognize differences among students due to readiness, interests, and learning styles. Many teachers try very hard to accommodate the various learning styles of their students, but this can be an overwhelming task, as some of the learning styles inventories and models are quite complicated. We live in an age where multi-modal approaches to teaching and learning are absolutely necessary for our learners’ success. Students need opportunities to engage in mastering concepts and skills by creating, exploring and working with hands on materials and integrated technology.

I know someday, Sophie will be a phenomenal architect and she will meet a teacher who will appreciate her way of thinking. Some day, her gifts will be acknowledged and celebrated. And someday, learning math and studying for a math test will not mean completing problems from a math packet.

Hang in there #Sophiegirl, we’re working on it.

 

 

 

 

Lets Agree to Disagree

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I recently read a blog post that discussed an author’s disapproval of reading logs as homework. It was a well written blog, that gave alternative assignments to these meaningless reading journals. Throughout the post, there was a recurring phrase written by the author, “I don’t mean to offend anyone.”, “Please do not take this into offense.”, and “My intention is not to offend teachers, reading specialist, lit coaches.” I counted many of these “offend” sentences in his post. Why did he feel the need to say this phrase over and over again? Why couldn’t he just write his viewpoint? Why did he feel that he was going to offend others?

I truly believe that we are the most sensitive society in our world today. Nobody has mastered the art of offending people as we have. For Americans, it’s the one thing we seem to do better than anyone else on the planet. We get offended faster and quicker than anyone. It’s not just our speed in offending others; it’s our endurance. We can go the miles when it comes to offending. As I log into social media, it seems that we, in some strange way, enjoy being offended. Some may even consider it a part of the modern American way of life. I cant help but wonder, why are we taking things so personally? Why can’t we state our opinion without being afraid of potentially offending someone?

My students are really enjoying blogging this year. Many of their blog posts revolve around their opinions and views of the world. As I was checking in on their work one Saturday during NFL playoff season, I realized they too were using that phrase “no offense”.

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I was surprised to see the “no offense” statement had trickled down to my 3rd grade learners early in the school year. Are students even using the phrase correctly?

I always thought that the phrase “no offense” meant you were about to say something so powerful and strong, with no holding back, or sugar coating. I thought “no offense” meant your opinions and views were raw and unfiltered. But clearly, the blog post I read, and the title in my students writing suggest something else. In both examples, the message isn’t necessarily powerful. It’s just a simple opinion. One stating that he doesn’t agree with reading logs, and the other simply stating he doesn’t like the NY Giants or the Eagles. Is the “no offense” phrase automatically instigating an angry response from those receiving it? Should we use it when stating our opinion? Are we extra sensitive to one another’s opinions because we have conditioned ourselves to say “no offense”?

“The fact that society may find speech offensive is not a sufficient reason for suppressing it.” ~ Former Chief Justice William Rehnquist

One of the most important lessons I teach my learners is how not to be offended by another’s opinion. I usually teach this during our opinion writing unit late in the year. However, I felt the need to tackle this earlier this year. Disagreeing respectfully with others, especially on issues we are passionate about, is not easy. It requires time, creativity, and maturity. It requires looking inward, not just outward. Just by devoting time to this lesson, it sends learners the clear message that they can disagree, question, or only partially agree with others, but still respect and get along with them. I feel this is a powerful lesson for all.

Here are some tips on teaching students how to disagree respectfully.

Interactive Modeling

I start by having learners discuss various topics. It could be a favorite sport, a favorite book from the Harry Potter series or favorite toppings on pizza. I model with my students how to disagree by using important phrases. “While I don’t support your view that basketball is the best sport, I prefer hockey. I’d like to hear more about why you think it is the best sport.” I also encourage my learners to ask questions to better understand another’s viewpoint.

“I’m going to have to respectfully disagree with that because on this page, the author said…”

“I disagree, but would like to know more about your point of view.”

“I want to ask _____ a question about what he said because I’m not sure I agree.”

Listen to the other point of view.

Being a good listener is a way of showing that you respect and are trying to understand the other person’s perspective. That makes it more likely he or she will do the same for you. When the other person is talking, try to stop yourself from thinking about why you disagree or what you’ll say next. Instead, focus on what’s being said. When it’s your turn to talk, repeat any key points the other person made to show you listened and heard what was said. “You like black olives on your pizza because you feel it adds additional saltiness and sourness to it.” Then calmly present your case and why you disagree.

Teach empathy

There is always a reason for why people feel the way they feel about something. Tap into those feelings; get to the heart of the matter. That’s where empathy plays a huge part in understanding another’s view point.When we teach students that there is always common ground between them and those with whom they disagree, we may be teaching them the most important lesson of their lives.

Here are some additional ideas for teaching the art of disagreeing.

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As I reflect, I realize that I don’t struggle with differing opinions. It may be because I was raised in a Greek household. In my family, if we had something to say, we didn’t hold back. If we had something to say, we said it; without a “no offense” phrase. And along the same lines, I don’t struggle with feeling as though I can’t be friends with people whose opinions differ from mine. For I understand the importance of disagreeing. Most importantly, I understand the need to explain and model to our own children, and learners, the importance of respectfully disagreeing .

Over the years, I have learned that using appropriate language, word choices, and tone is the key to maintaining relationships with others. Even though speaking truthfully may be difficult for many, it’s the approach that we take that allows us to earn the respect of others. This also creates a healthy environment and opportunity for growth. It’s important to recognize that opinions actually matter and have the right to be heard. Because, it’s not so much what you say to others; but it’s the manner in which it is said.

Celebrate Everyday Moments

 

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As I prepare for our New Years Eve festivities, I cant help but reflect on 2016.  My “one word” last year was …more. I was hoping for “more” in different aspects of my life; more travels, more learning,  more advancement, more family time. This year, once again, I am reading my PLN’s fabulous blog posts about their one word. I’m hoping for a word that I can blog about and embrace throughout the year. I don’t want a “one and done” type of post. I want something that I can write about and revisit time and time again. I want to live it, breathe it, be inspired….every day.

This holiday break, I find myself thinking about my learners a lot. I miss them tremendously. I miss hearing Maia’s stories, Aidyn’s silly jokes, Sarah’s thorough explanation of concepts and I miss talking Eagles football with Nye.  I think about the learning that happens in our live lesson room. Everyday my learners bring it. Some learners come to me excited, happy to absorb new discoveries. Some learners come to me in the most extreme circumstances. They may be homeless, hungry,and in troubled times. And yet, these learners come, try and give it their all. I like to think of learning as a wonderful celebration. My learners and I celebrate our writing and blog posts each month by dancing to Celebrate by Kool and the Gang.  Shout outs are given for their math fact accomplishments on Reflex math, we give props and kudos for their JGB projects, and I send them reading certificates for their achievements. But, as I write, I realize that we’re only celebrating their successes.  Would my learners accept their failures better if we acknowledge and, in a way, celebrate them too?

I also miss the team of teachers and colleagues I work with. There are many wonderful and talented professionals I come in contact with everyday. They push and challenge me to do and be my best. I often think about the challenges they work through and the risks they are hesitant to take, but do. When I close my laptop for the day, I still see them…logged on and working into the night. I’m sad to say, I’ve missed opportunities to celebrate them and their hard work. Often times we acknowledge their work and success after the fact. Why don’t we celebrate our colleagues and acknowledge their work more often?

“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.”

-Dr. Seuss

Our lives are filled with millions of simple moments, everyday occurrences that we won’t remember tomorrow. We get through each day while looking forward to and focusing on the big moments: family vacations, friends’ weddings, the arrival of children and promotions. These milestone celebrations are indeed fabulous, but then we turn back to our normal, everyday lives.We all have celebrated moments that are unforgettable.  We freeze special times and make sure we will never forget a treasured experience.

Administrators may hold off until the end of the year to praise teachers on a job well done. Most teachers will celebrate big moments in their classroom from time to time.  Who says that celebrations should only be limited to one day? Who says celebrations should be limited to certain milestones or successes? What if we celebrated a small speck of magic in those everyday moments?

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There are opportunities to celebrate the wonderful little things in our life and in our classrooms, all the time. Sometimes the big things wouldn’t have happened without the accumulation of smaller events along the way. Taking time to celebrate the little things is an opportunity to create strong bonds and relationships; not to mention lasting memories. Acknowledging and celebrating the good, the bad and even the ugly (yes, celebrate the ugly!) helps to make others feel valued, accepted and loved. It may also provide a great model for turning a negative event, an error or mistake, into a positive learning experience. Years into the future, you may not remember the exact reasons for all your small celebrations, but others will remember the joy and ease of being a member of your class or learning network.

 

Don’t wait for a special moment or milestone; celebrate the magic you see in everyday moments. My one word for 2017 is Celebrate.

How will you celebrate everyday moments with your learners and colleagues?

Focus on Hope

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So many posts about the election results on social media today. It was too depressing to even log on. So many people crying, complaining, wringing their hands of what’s to come and worrying for our children and the future. I am worried about our future. I am worried for our children. But it’s not Trump that worries me. It’s the way we are modeling change that we don’t agree with.

I was quite shocked at behavior that was shown during the election, but I guess that is the state of society nowadays. We scold children for being mean to others but, it’s perfectly normal for adults to say horrible things to friends that don’t have the same political views. We tell students to persevere through difficult times. But we throw out how we should move to a different country and abandon ours. We tell children to not be a spoiled sport, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. And yet, here are grown adults voicing over and over again that the “winner” – our President Elect is a –  “loser”.

Trumps degrading words, attitude and phrases that he uses scare me. Yes, I will not lie. I am not 100% on board. But I refuse to stoop to his level.

I know I influence my children and my learners more than Trump ever could. What scares me though, are the adults, parents and friends that have been using similar degrading phrases back at Trump. Do you not see the similarity? You are modeling his behavior. Would it be ludicrous to say maybe our President Elect will change his ways? It’s possible. I’ve seen it.

I remember one school year, my administrators called me into the office to discuss a learner I was to receive the following year. They sat me down and shared some information. He was a tough kid. He did and said some not so nice things. He was being placed with me. I remember thinking “How am I going to reach him? How am I going to have my learners accept him? How am I going to embrace him?” Now, many teachers would probably have persuaded administration to not have him placed in their room. I enjoy challenges. I can deal with change, I knew it was going to be okay.

As I look back, I don’t remember how it happened or when it happened. I just know that by working WITH this learner, by accepting him and his faults, by modeling compassion and empathy…he began to change. He began to blossom. He was invited to a friend’s house and later in the year a classmate’s birthday party.  We embraced him and he followed our example. I didn’t change my love for my students. I didn’t show my frustrations or anger. I didn’t change myself in anyway. I lead the change with the love that was in my heart, the passion that I have for my learners and learning. I met my learner where he was. I accepted him and because I did, he learned a valuable life lesson and so did I.

Can we meet President Elect Trump where he is? Can we model the change that we hope to see? Maybe this lesson is a life lesson of acceptance and compassion for you, maybe it’s for the President Elect, maybe it’s for all Americans. Can you lead the change with your heart? Will you?

When things don’t go our way, when we hit a snag in the road; we need  to think of other things that we have overcome. We need to think of how we can turn a negative situation into a positive. We need to model compassion and acceptance. As Americans, we need to focus on hope. Isn’t “hope” what America is all about?